You'll Be In My Heart
by Arc-Shipping99
Summary: Carl is dead. Enid finds herself facing intense grief as she struggle to come to terms with Carl's Death. She struggles to find the will to keep on going. She has to just survive somehow, not just for herself but now for her and Carl's unborn child. With Carl gone however, just surviving somehow is a hell of a lot harder then its ever been before.
1. Chapter 1

He's Gone

It takes one second for her whole world to shatter, for her heart to break. He's gone. He's dead and she'll never see him again. It wasn't supposed to be this way. She cant accept it. She doesn't want to believe its true.

One second she's running down the hill beside Carol, anxious to see some of her friends in Alexandria, anxious to see Carl her boyfriend.

The look on Daryl's face causes her to come to a complete halt.

She, Maggie and Carol… they all know that look, the look that someone's has when they're about to deliver the news that someone is dead.

Carol asks who had died and Daryl hesitates for a second before the name rolls of his tongue.

"Carl."

The second he says that her heart breaks.

Tears form in her eyes and she starts to shake. She raises her hand to her mouth just as the gut wrenching sobs start to leave her month. Her knees go weak and she sinks to the ground, sobbing, screaming and her eyes stinging from the tears that pour down her pale face.

People begin to walk away from her. She doesn't care she just remains on the ground crying at the loss of her boyfriend, her best friend, her person.

The father of the child that she only recently found out about.

He cant be dead. _This is all a bad dream_ she tells herself. _I'm going to wake up and he will still be alive._

She tries to stifle her cries with a hand but the realization that Carl is died and that they will never get to have the life together that they had talked about, they would never get married, raise kids together…hell she'd never get to hear his voice one more time.

She feels someone envelop her in a tight hug and she knows right away that it's Maggie. Maggie knows exactly what's she going through and a small part of her is glad that the older woman is here with her.

As Maggie holds her, she continues to cry and scream. Her heart is broken and she doesn't know if she can survive. She doesn't know if she can have this baby alone. She doesn't know if she can survive without him, she doesn't know if she wants too.

As much as she wants to deny it, she knows that Carl really is dead.

One second was all it took. It took one second for her heart to break. Her whole world has been shattered. Her life had changed it a instant.

All Because He's Gone.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm Lost Without You

Rick and Michonne arrive at Hilltop not long after everyone else.

Enid can't bring herself to look at them, she doesn't know what to say. She knows the pair are probably just as, if not more upset than she is. After all, Carl was Rick's son and a surrogate son to Michonne. They had more a right to be upset then she did.

She always didn't want to see them because she knew if she did, she would breakdown again and all this stress wasn't good for the baby.

She hadn't thought about the baby a lot since she had returned to hilltop. The only person who knew was her. She was so unsure what to do, part of her wanted nothing more than to have this baby.

The other part of her wished she wasn't pregnant. She felt horrible for wishing it but without Carl gone she didn't know she could do this without him. They wanted a future together and that future had included having kids, if the world was kind enough to give them that opportunity.

Apparently the world hadn't been that kind to her. She was going to have a child, but she was going to have it alone, without her best friend, without her love.

She needed to clear her head so when Rick asked for volunteers for a strike team, she volunteered, she knew she shouldn't with her baby, but she didn't care she needed to do something to take her mind off of the current situation.

Had she known she was going to be paired with Maggie and Michonne, she would have stayed behind. Being in the car with the two woman who she was close with made her feel uncomfortable, they kept trying to engage Enid is conversation. She responded with one word answers.

The ambush was cut short, Rick had gone silent but before he did he warned them the saviours were closer to Hilltop then they had believed.

As soon as they got back Enid fled to the bathroom and puked for several minutes. Morning sickness she thought. The reality of her situation was beginning to sink in. she didn't know how to deal with this, she felt horrible and she needed to sleep.

She entered her room, with water and a sandwich, she needed to keep her strength up regardless of the fact she wasn't hungry she had to eat, for the baby.

As she searched her closet for something more comfortable she came across one of Carl shirts. He had left it there when he and the others had come to hilltop back when they had just started dating.

She hugged the shirt close to her body. She inhaled his scent, the mixture of pine and earth was comforting. She missed him and she then realized that this shirt was all she had left of him, besides the baby that was.

She cried for hours, clutching the shirt as she laid in her bed.

"I miss you Carl." she whispered into the shirt as tears soaked the material. "I'm so lost without you."


	3. Chapter 3

He Was My Person

Enid decides right away that she doesn't like Siddiq. The young man is actually very nice and he immediately becomes an asset to the community by taking over as the medic.  
He approaches Enid early one morning and try's to have a conversation with the young girl, who Carl had told him much about.

"Carl told me about you" he says as he tries to start a conversation with her.  
Enid has no interest in taking about her deceased Boyfriend and father of her child. "Cool"  
"He cared a lot about you ... he wouldn't have wanted you to shut everyone out"

That comment makes her blood boil. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" She screams at him. Her cheeks flushed with anger and her hands balled into fists. "YOU HAVE NO RIGTH TO TELL ME WHAT CARL WOULD HAVE WANTED! IT IS YOUR FAULT HE'S DEAD! IT'S YOUR FAULT RICK LOST HIS SON, THAT JUDITH LOST HER BROTHER! Tears on angers were pouring down her cheeks! "IT IS YOUR FAULT THAT I LOST MY BOYFRIEND, MY LOVE...THE FATHER OF MY CHILD."

Siddiq is taken aback by her outburst. She looks around and sees many people, including Carol, Rosita and Daryl staring at her in shock over the last part of her statement. Maggie is staring at her with a look of sympathy.

She quickly turns and storms off ignoring Maggie's calls for her to wait.

She finds herself standing on one of the guard posts near the wall. Her eyes are red and puffy and she finds herself instinctively placing one hand over her flat stomach.

She hears someone climbing up the latter and is surprised to see it is Michonne.

"No Offence but shouldn't you be getting ready? The saviours are coming" Enid said in a quiet voice as she found herself unable to look at the women.  
"And we will fight them! But right now I'm more concerned about you"  
Enid sighed, "don't be I can take care of myself "  
" I know you can but now you have a child to take of Enid and you can't do it on your own"

Enid felt tears coming to her eyes and she turned towards Michonne.  
" Carl and I, we...we only did it once. It was good, we knew that this world gave us no guarantees, but we hoped...I hoped that maybe by some luck we would get the chance to live our lives together and have a family." Enid was sobbing now and Michonne's heart broke for the young girl.  
"It's so unfair that I get to have a child like we wanted...but that I have to do it without Carl! IT'S NOT FAIR" she screams and before she knows it, Michonne has wrapped her in a tight embrace and lets the girl cry into her shoulder.

As Enid sobs she whispers to Michonne, "I loved him, he was my person."

Michonne has to blink back tears as she hold the girl, trying so hard to comfort her.


	4. Chapter 4

Bargaining

"Who the hell do any of you think you are? None of you have any right to tell me I can't fight." Enid screams at the three adults standing before her.

"Enid, we only want what's best for you." Maggie says as she tries to reason with the teen.

"You know nothing about what's best for me." She snaps back. Part of her feels guilty for snapping at Maggie. She knows the older woman is just trying to help her but she doesn't want anyone help right now. She just wants to fight and to kill every saviour she can.

She wants this war to be done with. She wants revenge for what the Saviours did to Glenn and Abraham. She wants vengeance for Sasha.

Most of all she believes that maybe if she can take down enough saviours then maybe God or whoever will grant her what she wishes for most right now.

She's bargaining with the fates, she thinks if she takes down enough saviour that maybe by some miracle Carl can come back. After all Carl deserves to live so much more than any of the Saviours. If she has to risk her life, if she has to risk her child's life than so be it. She'll do anything to get Carl back, even if that means dying.

"Enid." Rick starts his voice soft. "We just want you to be safe, you and the baby."

"The only reason you want me safe is because I'm carrying Carl's child." She states bluntly. "If I wasn't then you wouldn't give a rats-ass about me."

"That's not true, I care about you Enid…we all do. I'm asking you to stay with the children tonight because I'm trying to Protect you."

She laughs bitterly. "Like you protected Glenn and Abraham? Like you protected Olivia? Or Spencer? How about Sasha and Eric?" She is glaring at him. "Like you protected Carl. Because if that's how you protect people than I think I'm better off on my own and so is Carl's Child."

The room is filled with silence and she sees the look of hurt on Rick's face, the angry look Michonne is directing at her and the look of disappointment on Maggie's face.

"Carl was brave, he cared about people…he cared about you." Michonne says in a quiet voice.

Enid's steps forward as hot tears fill her eyes. "And look what that got him. He's dead."

Before any of them can say anything else, she turns on her heel and storms off.

/

When the saviours attack that night, the fighting is intense and Enid is in the thick of it.

She guns down several saviours. She's holding up her end of the bargain. The fates better hold up their end of the deal.

She's fighting next to Bertie and Rosita when she sees a group of three Saviours trying to sneak up on Rick and some of the others.

Ignoring the hailstorm of bullets around her, she steps out into the open, right in front of the group of saviours.

Without hesitation, she opens fire. Her revolver lets loose five rounds which take down the group in seconds.

She smiles triumphantly but within a few seconds everything changes.

"Enid behind you." She hears Michonne call.

She feels it and it hurts like hell. A bullet hits her in the abdomen. The pain is so intense that she falls to the ground.

As she lays there, holding her wound as bloods soaks through her shirt, her vision grows blurry and she feels herself drifting into unconsciousness. The lets things she sees is Rick and Jesus leaning down to pick her up and then everything goes black.


	5. Chapter 5

The Girl He Loved

Enid shot up in bed, breathing heavily and sweating.

It took her a few seconds to realize where she was.

"Easy Enid, it's okay." A familiar voice says and she turns her head and sees Aaron sitting next to her bed.

"You're back." She cries

"I am and I didn't come back alone." He says

"You mean you convinced the Oceanside's to fight?"

He nods, "Sure Did."

"That-" she stops what she's saying when she remember getting shot and her hand flew to her stomach.

"The baby is it?"

Aaron squeezes her shoulder, "The baby is fine…Siddiq, he saved both you and the baby."

 _Of course he did, just one more thing that's makes it harder to dislike him._

"That's good."

"I'm sorry about Carl, Enid…I know you loved him."

Enid shrugs, "Yeah well people die…he made me fall in love with him, knocked me up and then dies." A tiny laugh escapades her lips.

Aaron stares at her, ensure of how to respond.

"…He left me a letter." Aaron finally says and a look of Shock appears on Enid's face.

"He did?"

Aaron nooded, "Yeah…it was a pretty nice one too."

"Carl had a way with words," Enid smiled as she remebered how Carl had attempted to tell her he loved her.

" _You're like the coolest girl ever."_

" _Thank you Carl."_

" _You're also pretty and smart and I think we'd have really cute babies."_

 _Enid choked on her glass of juice, "What?"_

" _I uh-I uh…I really like you and I want a life with you."_

 _She smiled, and laughed. "Are you trying to tell me you love me?"_

 _His faced turned crimson, "I uh-"_

 _She kissed him before he could say anything else. She'd already known what her answer was going to be._

"Did he know? About the baby?" Aarons question pulls her from her thoughts.

"No…I found out when I got back from Oceanside," she says sadly, pools form in her eyes and she tries hard to blink them back. "He would have be so excited and nervous and probably a little freaked out but mostly happy." She says.

"I'm sorry Enid."

"What did he say to you in his letter?"

Aaron leans back in his chair, "He told me he was sorry about Eric and that he would say hello to him for me in heaven," Aaron blinks away tears, "He thanked me for bringing him and his group to Alexandria, thanked me for giving them a chance at some sort of stability, he thanked me for giving them a home. He told me what a good man I was…he asked me to make sure that Alexandria would continue to welcome new people into the community. He asked me to look after his father and his group and his sister and you."

A faint smile appeared on her face.

"Did he leave you one?"

She nodded, "I have but I haven't read it yet…I just…I'm not ready you know?"

"Yeah I get it"

She yawned and he smirked, "Ricks called a meeting, I should get going. I'll see you later Enid."

"Thanks Aaron."

"Enid the last part of his letter…he thanked me for bringing him to Alexandria…For bringing him to the girl he loved…for bringing him to you."

A tear trickled down her face and she whispered a thank you to him before he left.

She wasn't ready to accept that Carl was dead.

What she could accept was that Carl had loved her and she had and always would love him.


	6. Chapter 6

If You're Reading This

It's in the first few hours after the battle that Enid finally reads Carl's Letter

 _Enid_

 _If you're reading this than I guess that means you're alive. That also means that I'm not. I got bit Enid. I was helping this guy and I tripped and got bit. You don't know how hard it was for me to write this letter. I'm sorry I died Enid, I'm sorry that I'm leaving you behind and that you probably won't get the chance to say goodbye…I'm sorry._

 _I know that you'll be okay. You're strong and brave and amazing. I know you'll just survive somehow without me, I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish I could hugged you or kiss you or even make love to you one more time._

 _Enid you were my first, my first friend in Alexandria, my first love, my first time. You were also the only person I saw myself with. I wanted a life with you Enid, I wanted a family with you. You were my person Enid and I'm pretty sure I was yours._

 _Promise me that you won't give up and shut people out. Maggie, Judith and so many others, they're going to need you. Promise me that you'll look after Judith for me. Promise me that you'll help make this world a better place. Promise me that you'll keep on surviving for the both of us._

 _I love you Enid, I love you so much. So Just Survive Somehow, but know that no matter what I'll be in your heart._

 _Love Carl_

By the time she finishes, Enid is sobbing and she quickly has to move the letter away from her face so her tears won't wreck it.

Carl is Dead…he's gone and he isn't coming back.

She lets out a deep breath, she finally accepts that horrible fact.

She also accepts that while Carl is dead, his child…their child is still alive and growing inside of her, and Enid will do anything to make sure that their child gets to grow up in the world Carl foresaw.


	7. Chapter 7

You'll Always Be In My Heart

In the months after the war ended, a lot changed for Enid.

A few weeks after it ended, Siddiq preformed an ultrasound on Enid. When she saw the blob that was her child for the first time, she cried. Seeing her baby finally allowed her to come to terms with Carl's death.

Carl was gone, and while it still hurt her deeply, looking at her and Carl's child, she knew that part of him would always be here. Their child had to survive and to do that Enid had to someone start moving forward and start taking care of herself again.

/

A couple months later Maggie had her baby, it was a boy. Maggie named him Hershel-Dale Rhee. Enid had been shocked when Maggie asked her to be the godmother but she accepted.

/

By the time she was six months, Enid had moved back to Alexandria, it was hard to say goodbye to Maggie and Hershel but she knew that they would be fine at Hilltop. Enid had her family to start taking care of.

She moved in Rick, Michonne and Judith. After the war ended, she and Carl's parents and formed a very close relationship. She was grateful for them, being with each other had help all of them to cope with the grief and move forward.

She had moved into Carl's old room and it helped her to still feel close to him.

/

When she learned that she was having a boy, she had spent weeks searching through the book of names Daryl and Rosita had found for her.

Finally she decided on the name Callan, it meant brave warrior. It was the perfect name for a son whose parents were Carl and Enid.

/

Enid gave birth to Callan a few months later, on the day that all the communities had gathered in Alexandria to celebrate the finishing of the rebuilding.

Labour was painful and she wished that Carl had been there with her. After several hours of labour, she gave birth to Callan.

From the minutes he was placed in her arms, swaddled in a blue blanket, she was completely in love with him.

He was the perfect mix of her and Carl. He had her freckles and mouth, but he had Carl's mouth. He had wisps of dark brown hair and deep blue eyes.

/

A week after Callan was born, Enid sat in front of Carl's grave. She was dressed in Carl's ratty old plaid shirt and blue jeans, her feet tucked into white sneakers.

Callan was in her arms.

"So it was a boy," she said to the grave, "I uh named him Callan Carl Grimes, I know that you told me that you never wanted a kid named after you…but I needed to," She sniffled, " I miss you Carl, I miss you so so much and I wish you were here…I want you to know that you were the only boy that I loved and the only man that I ever will love, you were it for me Carl and it's just going to be Callan and I from now on. I'm so glad I got to be a part of your life, you were amazing and my best friend. I love you Carl and I promise that our son will grow up knowing how hard his father worked to make this new world possible," she looked up at the sky, tears falling down her face, "I love you Carl and no matter what happens, you'll always be in my heart."


End file.
